Genealogy Humor: 101 Funny Quotes & Sayings for Genealogists

Introduction: Mary Harrell-Sesniak is a genealogist, author and editor with a strong technology background. In this guest blog post, Mary presents 101 of the funniest, quirkiest, or most touching sayings about genealogy that she’s encountered in her career as a family historian.

One thing I’ve noticed is that family historians have great senses of humor—and often come up with funny genealogy sayings.

So I searched high and low, and came up with my top list of 101 funny genealogy sayings. Most are similar to others that are displayed without attribution, so I’ve taken a few liberties in compiling what I consider the most humorous versions!

a screenshot of GenealogyBank’s “Genealogy Humor” Pinterest board

GenealogyBank’s “Genealogy Humor” Pinterest board

If I’ve omitted any funny genealogy quotes, be sure to add your personal favorites in the comments section so that we can all have a few more chuckles.

Funny Family Tree Sayings

  • If you shake your family tree, watch for the nuts to fall.
  • Some family trees have more sap than others (and mine certainly has more than its fair share).
  • Genealogists never fade away; they just lose their roots.
  • If you don’t tend your roots, the tree may wither away.
  • Family tree research is one giant step backwards and one giant step forward—usually at the same time.

Genealogy saying: "If you shake your family tree, watch for the nuts to fall."

Funny Genealogy Quotes & Definitions

  • Family history is all about recording “his story & her story.”
  • Definition of mythology: genealogy without documentation.
  • Genealogy is all about chasing your own tale.
  • Famous quote that applies (all too often) to questionable genealogy: “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.” —Mark Twain
  • “Just the facts, Ma’am.” —(commonly, but incorrectly) attributed to Joe Friday of the TV show Dragnet.
  • “Genealogy: An account of one’s descent from an ancestor who did not particularly care to trace his own.” —Ambrose Bierce
  • Genealogists are time travelers.
  • A great genealogist is a time unraveler.
  • Genealogy: In the end, it’s all relative.
  • A genealogist is someone who knows that all grandparents are great grandparents!
  • Genealogy is sometimes about proving that bad family traits came from the other side of the tree!

Genealogy saying: "Genealogy is all about chasing your own tale."

Funny Sayings about Cousins & Other Relatives

  • Can a first cousin once removed be returned?
  • A cousin a day keeps the boredom away.
  • A great party is when everyone joins in the gene pool.
  • An inlaw is someone who has married into your family; an outlaw is an inlaw who resists letting you do their genealogy!
  • If your family members won’t talk about a particular relative, a seasoned genealogist knows they are keeping mum about something very interesting.
  • Moment of Truth for a genealogist: discovering you are your own cousin.
  • If you don’t know who the family black sheep is, it’s probably you.
Enter Last Name










Humorous Genealogy Quotes for Signs, Bumper Stickers and T-Shirts

  • Do you know where your great grandparents are?
  • After 30 days, unclaimed ancestors will be discarded or claimed by another family.
  • So many ancestors; so little time.
  • I brake for ancestors.
  • I chase dead relatives.
  • I’m ancestrally challenged.
  • Where there is a will, you’ll find a genealogist!
  • Genealogists do it in libraries or in trees.
  • Sign for a genealogist’s home office: Family research zone. Disturb at your peril.
  • I am addicted to genealogy.
  • Who’s your great great granddaddy?
  • I only research genealogy on days that end in “y.”
a screenshot of GenealogyBank’s “Genealogy & Family Quotes” Pinterest board

GenealogyBank’s “Genealogy & Family Quotes” Pinterest board

Good Advice for Genealogists

  • Remember that when a family member passes away, they take a library of memories with them. It’s a genealogist’s duty to record them before that happens.
  • Genealogy is like a magic mirror. Look into it, and pretty soon, interesting faces appear.
  • The kind of ancestors you have is not as important as the kindness of their descendants.
  • If you are the last living link between your grandparents and your grandchildren—don’t break the chain.
  • If you don’t want your descendants to put a twisted spin on your life story, write it yourself!
  • If you’re the family photographer (and not showing up in photos), your family historian descendants will become upset with you.
  • To get your family tree done the fastest, run for political office. Your opponents will have it completed way before the election, and then you can resign if you really didn’t wish to run in the first place.
  • Many genealogists neglect telling their own stories, while in the midst of telling the stories about others. Don’t let that happen to your family.
  • Your children may not thank you, but if you preserve the family genealogy your great great great great descendants will remember you as super-great!
  • If someone’s picture looks like they don’t belong in the family tree, well, maybe they don’t.
  • Some think it’s best to grow a family tree one leaf at a time—but as with the spring, you may find that many buds can be produced at the same time.
  • Don’t take life seriously. Every genealogist knows nobody gets out alive.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, search, search again. That is why we call it re-search.

Genealogy saying: "Genealogy is like a magic mirror. Look into it, and pretty soon, interesting faces appear."

Hilarious Observations about Genealogists

  • Genealogists don’t get Alzheimer’s, they just lose their census.
  • Eventually, all genealogists come to their census.
  • Housework avoidance strategy: Genealogy!
  • There’s a fine line between a packrat and a serious family historian.
  • A home with everything in its place, and a place for everything, means you’re not well suited for genealogy!
  • Can’t find enough ancestors? No problem. Let me adopt you. I’ve got more than enough to share.
  • Does your family coat of arms have too many or too few sleeves?
  • Taking your children to meet family at a reunion is often an effective form of birth control.
  • Genealogical paydirt is discovering the ancestor who was the family packrat!
  • Heredity might be better spelled as heir-edity.
  • I can’t find my ancestors, so they must have been in a witness protection program!
  • Motivated genealogists scan once—and then share across the Internet!
  • A genealogist’s bad heir day is when you can’t find what you are looking for.
  • A genealogist’s filing system usually incorporates the floor.

Genealogy saying: "There's a fine line between a packrat and a serious family historian."

Oxymorons, Enigmas & Theories about Genealogy

  • Oxymoron: “I love history, but I dislike genealogy.” Don’t you want to tell these people that genealogy is family history?
  • Genealogical enigma: How so many published trees record people who died before they were born.
  • Genealogy theorem: There is a 100% chance that those elusive ancestors weren’t interested in genealogy.
  • Genealogy theorem: The odds that you are related to yourself are probably not less than 100%.
  • Theory of relativity: If you go back far enough, we’re all related.
  • Murphy’s Law of Genealogy: Your ancestor’s maiden name will be recorded on the one record page that is missing.
Enter Last Name










Funny Cemetery Quotes

  • A genealogist is a person who leaves no stone unearthed.
  • A cemetery is a marble garden not to be taken for granite.
  • Selecting a tombstone is usually a monumental task.
  • Go ahead and honk your horn in the cemetery. It’s not possible to wake the dead.
  • A cemetery is where “down under” takes on an entirely new meaning.
a screenshot of GenealogyBank’s “Our Ancestors Said...” Pinterest board

GenealogyBank’s “Our Ancestors Said…” Pinterest board

You Know You’re a Genealogist if…

  • You know you’re a genealogist if the top item on your Christmas list is a genealogy subscription!
  • You know you’re a genealogist if your email contact list contains more distant cousins than immediate family.
  • You know you’re a genealogist if you’ve ever tried to inspire the next generation by whispering in a newborn’s ear, “Genealogy is fun.”
  • You know you’re a genealogist if you evaluate the surnames of acquaintances (along with complete strangers) to see how they might be related.
  • You know you’re a genealogist if you know all the maiden names of all your female friends—and if you don’t, you surreptitiously try to discover them.
  • You know you’re a genealogist if you secretly celebrate a forebear’s birthday.
  • You know you’re a genealogist if the highlight of your last trip was a cemetery visit.
  • You know you’re a genealogist if no family member is ever treated as a black sheep (everyone is welcome).
  • You know you’re a genealogist when you realize your collection of DNA results is more important than your nick knacks.
  • You know you’re a genealogist if you immediately understand these abbreviations: BC, DC, MC and VR.
  • Answer the first associated words that come to mind: Ellis, family and vital. If you answered Island, history and record, you know you’ve become a genealogist.
  • You might be a genealogist if you think family history is an ancestral game of hide and seek.
  • You might be a genealogist if dead people are more interesting to you than the living.
  • You might be a genealogist if you love living in the past lane.
  • You might be a genealogist if the phrase “relatively speaking” holds a truly unique meaning.
  • You know you’re a genealogist if a scanner and archival storage containers are more exciting gifts than jewelry (female) or football tickets (male).
  • You know you’re a genealogist if you know what inst. and ult. stand for.
  • You know you’re a genealogist if you’ve ever repurposed your dining room table, and panic at anyone going near it.
  • You know you’re a genealogist if your vacation bucket list includes Fort Wayne, Salt Lake City, and Washington, D.C. (hopefully all in the same year).
  • You know your friend is not a genealogist if he/she doesn’t understand why these are top vacation destinations.
  • You know you’re a genealogist if there is a courthouse programmed into your GPS.
  • You know you’re a genealogist if you’ve ever had your photo taken in front of a tombstone and you were actually smiling!
  • You know you’re a genealogist if you know more about the past than the present.
  • You know you’re a genealogist if you know what a GEDCOM and an ahnentafel are.
  • You know you’re a genealogist if you have no problem substituting your great great grandmother’s maiden name for your mother’s (in answer to a security question).
  • You know you’re a genealogist if you can name the county for most major cities in the United States! Admit it—many of you can assign these cities to their correct county: Atlanta, Cleveland, Newark, Houston, San Francisco…
  • If you think your family is normal, you probably aren’t a genealogist!
  • You know you’re hopelessly hooked on genealogy if you say “Honey, I’ll just be a few minutes on the computer,” and then find yourself awestruck by the sunrise.

Genealogy saying: "If you think your family is normal, you probably aren't a genealogist!"

I’d like to leave you with my favorite saying: “Genealogy isn’t just a pastime; it’s a passion!”

GenealogyBank’s Pinterest Boards

If you’d like to laugh a little and enjoy more genealogy sayings and quotes, be sure to visit these Pinterest boards.

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3 Genealogy Goals for 2014: Tasks & Tips for a Great New Year

Introduction: Gena Philibert-Ortega is a genealogist and author of the book “From the Family Kitchen.” In this guest blog post, Gena describes three goals to get your 2014 genealogy research off to a great start: document your home sources, share your research, and update your family history information.

Wow! 2013 seemed to fly by and now it’s already 2014. What genealogy goals did you accomplish last year? What are your research resolutions for this year? While you may still not get that 500-page family history tome written, or trace your family tree back to 1500, there are some smaller tasks you can accomplish in a reasonable amount of time in the upcoming New Year. No need to feel dread when you think of all you want to do. There are still little things that will help you accomplish your overall genealogy goals.

To get you started, here are three ideas for reasonable genealogy tasks in 2014.

Document Your Home Sources

Home sources are the things that make up one of the first steps in putting together a family history. By definition a home source is simply any item with genealogical value that is housed in your home (though it could also be a close family member’s home for our purposes). I know, you’re probably thinking you don’t have any home sources. Even if this is so, expand your idea of a home source by considering items that will one day tell your descendants about their ancestors (you!). Also, include in your definition of a home source anything you have gathered through your own research such as photos, document copies, and books.

photo of various home sources of genealogy information: old photos and letters

Credit: from the author’s collection.

One day you won’t be around to convey the importance of these home sources to your family. So plan now to document these items. How can you do that? Digitize these items using a scanner or a camera, then write a description and history of the item. Let family members know the provenance (if any), stories behind the item, and care instructions. Take this information and put together a scrapbook or upload the information to a cloud storage website, and share it with family members.

In some cases it can be difficult to find the information we need to document an inherited item. A good case in point is those closely-cropped newspaper clippings that get passed down. Typically there is no information about the name of the newspaper or the date the article appeared. Take keyword phrases from those newspaper articles and use them to search in GenealogyBank’s Historical Newspaper Archives. Once you locate the name of the newspaper and date, make sure to include that information when you digitize that clipping. Remember that some items, like newspaper clippings, degrade over time—so it’s important to preserve them now by scanning or photographing them.

photo of an old newspaper clipping

Credit: from the author’s collection.

Physical items, whether they are a prized heirloom, vintage family photos or newspaper clippings, help interest non-genealogists in their family story. Consider taking some time this year to preserve, document, and share them.

Start Sharing

Have you shared your family history research? What about those photos you scanned at your aunt’s home? Did you show everyone those cemetery photographs so that they can learn more about where their great-grandparents are buried?

Sharing your family history today is a lot different than in years past. Today, with the assistance of social media websites, cloud computing, and family tree websites, we can share all types of images with family far and wide.

Need ideas of where to share your family history information? How about using a social network website like Pinterest to upload family photographs? You can create virtual bulletin boards on Pinterest for cemetery photos, a specific family line, or photos of heirlooms. Invite family members to pin to these boards so that they can share what they know about the family. Need help learning more about Pinterest? See my GenealogyBank blog article 3 Steps to Using Pinterest for Your Family History.

screenshot of some of GenealogyBank's boards on Pinterest

Consider uploading documents and images to an online cloud storage website like Dropbox, Sugar Sync, Google Drive, or Microsoft’s SkyDrive. Share these private folders with family members. Once shared, they can then download what you have uploaded.

Don’t want to use social media or maybe you’re leery of uploading your family tree? Privacy, time, and effort are all considerations in online sharing of family information. Even if you don’t want to use online resources for sharing your family tree, don’t forget to make copies of documents, images and family history narratives that you have written. However you decide to share, remember that getting your family history in the hands of family members is beneficial. It helps to ensure that your genealogy research lives on after you have passed, and it provides a backup should something happen to your copy.

Review Your Genealogy Research

The beginning of the year is a good time to consider going back and reviewing those ancestors you researched when you first started working on your family history. Why? Since that time, new resources both on and off line have been made available, and most likely family members have shared additional information with you since you first started your research.

Choose one single family and then go through each person in that family and make sure that you have every census where they should appear, trace them in city directories, find appropriate newspaper articles, and verify everyone’s vital records information. As you enter all of your new findings in your genealogy database, make sure to cite your sources so that you and others you share your research with will know where to find that information.

Looking to work on your genealogy in 2014? Don’t get bogged down with large unrealistic goals. Genealogy should be fun. Choose a few small manageable tasks to kick off 2014. Take some time to document your home sources, share your research, and update your family history information. Here’s hoping you have many great genealogy discoveries in 2014!

3 Steps to Using Pinterest for Your Family History

Introduction: Gena Philibert-Ortega is a genealogist and author of the book “From the Family Kitchen.” In this guest blog post, Gena explains how the social media website Pinterest can help with your family history research.

Are you a member of Pinterest? Pinterest is a social media website that allows you to gather images from your computer and the Internet to create virtual bulletin boards on subjects that interest you. On Pinterest you can find boards dedicated to holiday meals, decorating kitchens, collecting antiques, fashion, and many other topics. But Pinterest is more than just a place to pursue those types of interests. Pinterest is also a place where you can organize, learn, and share your family history.

So how does a website where users virtually “pin” images about the latest movie or fashion collection help you with genealogy? As you take a look at Pinterest, consider it a site to share family photographs and documents, to bookmark websites related to your family history, or to plan out your next genealogy research trip. At home, your physical bulletin board might be used to save important articles, phone numbers, or notes you don’t want to forget. Pinterest is just like that real-life bulletin board except it is virtual and can be accessed from any computer with Internet access. Best of all, you can invite other family members or researchers to pin with you via shared group boards.

Not convinced Pinterest is for you? Not sure how Pinterest can be used for genealogy? Consider the following three tips.

Tip #1: Follow Genealogy Boards, Starting with GenealogyBank

One of the benefits of using Pinterest is getting ideas and learning about new genealogy sources. Following Pinterest boards maintained by genealogists, family history-related companies, and repositories can help you. Take for instance the GenealogyBank boards. Currently GenealogyBank has 50 boards covering topics as diverse as Family Tree Wall Art & Decor, Old Newspaper Ads, American Fashion History, and Genealogy Books.

Genealogy Bank Pinterest Page

Follow Genealogy Bank’s board Family Tree Wall Art & Decor on Pinterest.

Follow Genealogy Bank’s board Old Newspaper Ads on Pinterest.

Follow Genealogy Bank’s board American Fashion History on Pinterest.

Follow Genealogy Bank’s board Genealogy Books on Pinterest.

These boards provide more than just images to look at. Consider the GenealogyBank board Genealogy Powerpoints, a must for any family history researcher. Here you will find links to presentations GenealogyBank genealogist Tom Kemp has given on subjects including Genealogy Research with Marriage & Anniversary Records, Top Genealogy Websites for the 21st Century, Newspapers: Critical Resources to Document your Family Tree, and Obituaries: Getting All the Clues. Pinterest is a great place to find resources and educational material about all facets of family history.

Follow Genealogy Bank’s board Genealogy Powerpoints on Pinterest.

GenealogyBank’s recipe board is a shared group Pinterest board, where we welcome collaboration from those who share our common interests. In my blog article Holiday Recipe Ideas for Good Old-Fashioned Cooking I wrote about GenealogyBank’s Old Fashioned Family Recipes board. Follow this board and we will invite you to share your family recipes.

Follow Genealogy Bank’s board Old Fashioned Family Recipes on Pinterest.

To start following GenealogyBank, go to our page on Pinterest and then click on the orange “Follow” button at the top. You can also follow me on Pinterest.

Tip #2: Start Pinning

So what should you pin? Well, basically, images from the Internet or even your own photographs that you have from your camera, smartphone or scanner. Think of Pinterest as a place to share images that you find and those that you own. For those with mobile devices such as smartphones or tablets, you can download the Pinterest app from the iTunes App Store (for Apple devices such as iPhone and iPad) or the Google Play store (for Android devices). Download the Pinterest button for your browser toolbar to make pinning images even easier. Make sure that when you pin an image you give credit to the person or website that it is from.

Here are some ideas to get you started on Pinterest:

  • Start a board where you share images of material items that were commonplace during your ancestor’s time. Pin images of what a kitchen was like in 1920 or what blacksmith tools your 3rd great-grandfather would have used.
  • Share images you have taken of the tombstones of your ancestors.
  • Start a board for a particular ancestor and then pin images of documents, photos, and other resources that help to tell the story of their life.
  • Pin images of books that you are interested in adding to your personal library. Need book ideas? Check out GenealogyBank’s Genealogy Books board.
  • Start a board with resources for a specific place that you research. Share your knowledge of local archives, libraries and museums that can assist other researchers.

Tip #3: Here’s the Best-Kept Secret: Using the Secret Boards

Not sure you want to share a board of your family history images? No problem. Pinterest offers members public and secret boards. Secret boards cannot be seen by others (unless you have a group secret board and then only those you allow to pin to the board can see it). Pinterest currently allows you to have up to six secret boards. (This is a recent addition of three extra boards that occurred during the holiday season). You can actually have access to additional secret boards if you are invited to pin on a secret board with another pinner. Use these boards to gather ideas for research or even set up virtual bookmarks for websites you need to look at further for genealogy clues. Currently I am using one of my secret boards to “bookmark” websites and digitized images I have found for one of my research projects. I love being able to see images to remind me where I’ve located resources and what I have yet to find.

Start a secret board with a cousin and use it to share photos and documents you’ve collected in your genealogy research. Use a secret board to plan out a genealogy research trip and include pins of libraries, archives and cemeteries you want to visit. Even consider using a secret board to interest the younger generation in their family history by pinning photos you have scanned.

Are you using Pinterest for your family history? Now is the time to give it a try. You’ll find it’s a great tool for sharing and storing images, and a good way to learn more about your family’s story.

Holiday Recipe Ideas for Good Old-Fashioned Home Cooking

Introduction: Gena Philibert-Ortega is a genealogist and author of the book “From the Family Kitchen.” In this guest blog post, Gena shows how GenealogyBank can help you find holiday recipe ideas in two helpful ways: on our “Old Fashioned Family Recipes” Pinterest board, and in our Historical Newspaper Archives.

What are you cooking up for your family and friends this holiday season? A big traditional family dinner? A casual get-together with friends featuring lots of appetizers? Maybe you love to bake and the holiday season gives you an excuse to make all kinds of festive tasty treats.

Looking for new recipe ideas for the holidays? What about using GenealogyBank to help you find new-to-you holiday recipes? Just as the women in our families once relied on newspaper recipe pages for new ideas for dinner and special occasions, GenealogyBank can help you find holiday recipe ideas in two helpful ways: on its “Old Fashioned Family Recipes” Pinterest board, and in its Historical Newspaper Archives.

GenealogyBank + Pinterest = Tried & Tasty Old Family Recipes

I love Pinterest and I think once you start using this website, you will too. Haven’t heard of Pinterest? Pinterest is a social media website that allows you to “pin” images from your computer or the Internet onto virtual “boards.” Think of it as a virtual bulletin board where you can share images representing various topics. I have become a great fan of Pinterest and use it to organize recipes and images of old cookbooks, quilts and genealogy resources.

Looking for a new holiday recipe to try? Did you know that GenealogyBank has a group board on Pinterest titled Old Fashioned Family Recipes? Peruse these family recipe pins for new ideas or to locate old-fashioned favorites.

photo of GenealogyBank's Pinterest board “Old Fashioned Family Recipes”

GenealogyBank’s Pinterest board “Old Fashioned Family Recipes.” Credit: Pinterest.

One of my favorite desserts, carrot cake, can be found here. I will admit this pin for Zesty Orange French Toast is also calling my name.

photo of the Pinterest pin for “Zesty Orange French Toast”

Pinterest pin for “Zesty Orange French Toast.” Credit: Pinterest.

Want to share your old family holiday recipes? You’re invited to add to the GenealogyBank Pinterest board. (Please note that you must be a member of Pinterest to pin images, but joining just takes a moment.) Help us curate a collection of the best family recipes to share with other researchers.

It’s easy to do:

  1. Go to our Old Fashioned Family Recipes board
  2. Click on the “Follow” button (located toward the top center of the page)
  3. We’ll invite you to join as a contributor to our Old Fashioned Family Recipes board
  4. Pinterest will send you a group board invitation to join our Pinterest board group
  5. Click the red “Accept” button to accept our invite
  6. Start pinning images of your family recipe cards or photos of the food itself to our board
screenshot of Pinterest sign-up message

Credit: Pinterest

In addition, after you share the recipe on our board, start your own Pinterest recipe board for your family food history that can be shared with your extended family this holiday season.

How to Find Holiday Recipes in Newspapers

Have you searched newspapers for holiday recipe ideas? Do you have a favorite family dish but you’re not sure how it’s made? A tradition in my Sister-in-Law’s family is to make various kinds of cookies to give away during the holidays. Each Christmas cookie platter has six or more types of cookies. How do you find various recipes to add to your Christmas cookie repertoire? I found lots of cookie recipes when I searched GenealogyBank’s Historical Newspaper Archives, including this one for Mexican Christmas Cookies which are my favorite.

Holiday [Recipe] Traditions, Dallas Morning News newspaper article 8 December 1983

Dallas Morning News (Dallas, Texas), 8 December 1983, page 1E

Want more Christmas cookie recipe ideas? Here are some Christmas cookie recipes from California that may help you out in your holiday culinary pursuits. These two Christmas cookie recipes are said to be the favorites of the members of the San Diego Las Amiguitas Auxiliary to the Children’s Home Society.

Cookies a Christmas Tradition, San Diego Union newspaper article 11 December 1980

San Diego Union (San Diego, California), 11 December 1980, page 66

Maybe you’re not into Christmas cookies. Perhaps some other holiday dessert is what your sweet tooth craves. Now I know it may seem old fashioned, but I really do like holiday fruit cake. Maybe it’s because we never ate it when I was growing up. As an adult living in my first home, one of my neighbors invited me over and served me tea and fruit cake. From the first bite of a dessert that some people dread, I was hooked. Whether you enjoy fruit cake as well—or you want to give it as a joke gift for the holiday office party—you can find a recipe for it in the newspaper.

This “Southern style” fruit cake recipe offers a different take on this traditional holiday dessert. After eating a slice or two, you may realize you really do like fruit cake after all.

Try Fruit Cake Southern Style, Boston Herald newspaper article 7 December 1971

Boston Herald (Boston, Massachusetts), 7 December 1971, page 27

The holidays are a great time to record your family’s food history and to find old recipes that have long since disappeared from your own family’s holiday traditions. Search newspapers to find holiday recipes, and create food memories for the future.

Do you have a favorite family holiday recipe? We would love for you to share it with us so that we can give it a try sometime. Please share your family favorite in the comments section below, and add the recipe to our Old Fashioned Family Recipes  board on Pinterest.

Happy Holidays!