Introduction: Mary Harrell-Sesniak is a genealogist, author and editor with a strong technology background. In this blog post, Mary shares some of the responses her social media friends gave when she asked the question: “Just what frustrates everyone about genealogy?”
Earlier this year, the GenealogyBank blog published my article “Why Do You Love Genealogy?” The responses were engaging and it was clear that there is a world of genealogy addicts out there. So I decided to query my social media friends again: Just what frustrates everyone about genealogy?
The responses were enlightening and immediate—over 200 responses about the ups and downs of genealogy. Surprisingly, there weren’t as many frustrations about barking up the wrong tree as I imagined. Most were about brick walls, dead-ends, missing information, and how people share or misreport genealogy.
I couldn’t include them all, so have picked some of the more enlightening answers to share. They are grouped by topic and the initials indicate the name of the respondent.
Brick Walls & Dead Ends
- 30+ years of researching and I still have the same 3 brick walls! – G.W.
- Both (brick walls and dead-ends). – S.A.
- Definitely both!!! – K.B.
- Brick wall! – J.H.S.
- Brick walls, [ancestors] missing from a census, obituary without parents’ names, no death record, obituary that says so-and-so died yesterday and no more, disappearing from all records…to name a few. But none of it deters the obsession. – D.B.
- Dead ends. – D.G., J.S., M.M., N.S., T.L.M. & V.S.F.
- Dead ends! People who seem to have appeared out of nowhere. One in particular is Aldenderfer, a name contrived from German meaning “high” or “small” village. So, people from the altendoerf were from the small village: small villages = altendoerfers. So, how do I find the small village in Germany for someone who arrived in the middle 1700s? – V.G.E.
- I’d swear [Elizabeth] didn’t exist except that she managed to be on 2 censuses after she married. – L.H.
- For me it’s dead ends, and the fact that conducting a reasonably exhaustive search just seems never to be done, and with so many zillions of places to look. – B.C.
(My response) “I think the key word is reasonable, although most of us don’t like to stop until we find what we are looking for!”
- For me, it is the dead ends. My great grandparents had to have had parents and perhaps siblings. Where are you? I’m looking for you! Sigh. – S.E.
- I’m frustrated with a dead end, although all of the above answers are good answers, too! My great grandma supposedly came to the U.S. from Ireland in 1890 but didn’t marry ’til 1908. There is no record of her in the U.S. for those 18 years…or before that in Ireland. I am beginning to think she has something to hide. My mother describes her as a secretive woman. This is my brick wall. I’m happy to listen to any other theories! I’ve accused her of just about everything! – S.W.P.
- Keep looking and the dead ends remain… – H.T.
- Mom’s Grandfather didn’t leave a paper trail to track him. – J.K.
- My experience has been one brick wall after another. So frustrating! – A.R.
- I think that feeling of “I’ll find something…just keep looking for it” has kept me looking…so instead of giving it a rest, I keep hitting my own head into the brick wall. – T.L.M.
Locations & Websites That Stymie Researchers
- Distance. If I could be in those other courthouses and libraries a few hundred miles [away] or across the ocean. – A.G.
- KY TN AR – H.H.P.
- Regarding U.S.A., lack of access to needed files and nationwide lack of ability to visit most states to find answers. – J.E.G.
- Not being able to find a town of origin. – D.H.
- Researching in New Jersey. – M.P.C.
- Sites that claim you can search records for free…but you have to pay to actually see the records. – P. L.
- The difficulty of obtaining records that I know exist because they’re far away or only available in an archive or library that can’t or won’t digitize or do research. – A.G.
- Venezuela. – M.M.
- When I absolutely know someone was born and lived in a place but there is no record at all, that’s so frustrating! – L.B.W.
- All the common names used over and over again! – K.L.
- Common names drive me crazy. Go look for a John White from Indiana who served in the Civil War. Or what should be uncommon names like McFetridge that are spelled 600 different ways and sometimes 3 or 4 [ways] on the same document. – B.N.
- Dealing with [common] surnames…that have SO many branches that are not connected, at least that can be proven! I could have added just about every comment here ahead of me! So frustrating sometimes, but so fun to search and rewarding when you do find something useful! – D.K.B.
- 7 or 8 different spellings for one person’s first and last names. I can’t find his records in any immigration site. I think he came over in a rowboat. – E.J.K.
- My two greatest brick walls: [both] shown in only two census records and then poof! – D.R.
- Endless gens with the same 3 names: William, Robert, and James. – H.H.P.
- Family using fake names. – I.R.D.
- Good common names are my nemesis: John Smith, etc. – N.G.
- I had 2 [men of the same name] born within a few years of each other in the same area. First cousins. I have 5 [others with the same name], of course they are all related to each other and some with close birthdates. And finally, 13 [with the same exact name] all related to each other. Headache keeping them straight! – G.S.O.
- I have 5 gens with the same two names and each gen had several sons…ALL with the same 3 names. – H.H.P.
- Last names. One of them is Son and one of the first names is Abraham. Pop that name in Google and you’ll have enough biblical references to keep you busy sorting through until the Second Coming. – D.H.R.
- Mine are the brick walls AND the same names within the same branch of family. I know it was [a] tradition to name them after relatives, but my god it is murder trying to figure out which John goes with which Mary or Polly. – C.W.W.
- My biggest frustration is finding a record with the right name/info that is reasonably and plausibly my ancestor, but not being able to verify it with certainty! – K.F.
- My frustration is that my last name is [common]! – M.Y.
- Researching a common name of a brick wall family. – D.L.C.
- My granddad, great granddad and great great granddad are all named William Smith. – G.W.O.
- I have Smiths too. – D.R.
- My line, William, has 5 sons, 1 named William, like him. The 5 sons had boys – each named 1 son William (after their Grandfather). Those boys had sons – each named a son William…and it goes on and on and on. – M.O.S.
- My nightmare is trying to find my Grandma. She was born in Mexico under one name but used a combination of the 2 here in the states. – S.V.
- Same here, dead ends, and duplicate names! – L.B.W.
- The names [are common ones] from Ireland. Do you have any idea how many of them there are? And they all have a father named Patrick and a mother named Mary. Argh. – M.C.
- The same names in the same era, especially with surnames I once thought were weird or unusual. – A.F.
- My Dad’s last name [is common]…my Mother’s maiden name is Smith. But then, it does make for interesting research! – M.Y.
- Try working in the 13th century; all men are William and all wives name their daughters
after themselves and there aren’t last names yet! – P.J.
Other Genealogy Frustrations
- Cost of these [genealogy] programs…$119 for data search. – A.P.
- For me it’s the organizing. I’m so focused on finding and saving items that I have to force myself to stop researching and make some organizing sense of it all. – L.T.
- Organizing. – J.J.
- What frustrates me most about genealogy? Unlabeled photos! – I.R.
- Lack of info…The missing 1890 census. – I.R.D.
- Yes, the 1890 census. – G.G.T.
- Oh yes, the missing 1890 census, I was swearing at it earlier today. Also the destroyed Irish Census and other Irish records. I’m finally “across the pond” and am hitting dead ends because of that fire. – S. C.
- Illiterate people writing down census info. I’ve got some names from NC I can’t even figure out [because of] how they are spelled. Batrass = Beatrice. – D.R.
- I have to agree with you there too. I couldn’t locate one branch of my husband’s Perry family. I stumbled across them looking for someone else. The census taker had the name listed as Harry. WOW! – C.W.W.
- Here’s a fun one: I spent ages pulling my hair out trying to find my Grandmother on the 1930 Census, she was 6 years old, there was the whole rest of the family where was she??? Finally I gave up and ordered a copy of her birth certificate, found out she was born in 1933. (She died in ’92, btw.) – S.C.
- That sounds like you were there for my most recent search on [my] family in Canada. – B.C.
- Illegible handwriting drives me insane. Conflicting information is my other pet peeve. – P.R.C.
- Inability to read a document is frustrating. – T.K.
- Records that sort-of match up, but not enough to know whether it’s actually the same person. I’ve got relatives that, through the censuses, have a 5- or 6-year span of birth years. – M.H.
- I like deciphering the old script, inverting a photostat of an aging parish register. I will not let a challenge defeat my research. – A.D.
Records & Family Trees (errors, missing and otherwise)
- All the “winkie winkie” looks between county clerks when they say records were burned. I really think lots of county courthouses just cleaned house and burned them out back. – N.G.
- Another whammy is when you hit the mother-load of items (cards with names) inside a box wrapped with the memorial book for your great grandfather. But your great grandmother threw away the envelopes for all those cards. The cards that only have first names or last names, some of which appear to be related. – I.R.
- As it is, because of a fire in ’73, there isn’t much there, but they say he was born [elsewhere], which is the closest I have gotten to his place of birth. – G.W.O.
- It’s the dumb errors. – M.F.
- Just to make things more interesting, my granddad lied about both his age and place of birth. If I [hadn’t] stumbled upon his discharge papers, I would never have been able to find any of his military papers. – G.W.O.
- Knowing that people have sold photos and family bibles to the highest bidder to be used in a craft project. – H.T.
- My “worst” brick wall is so bad, largely in part to one person making an error on an online tree and then everyone else copying it. So, I guess poor research is my biggest frustration. – S.C.
- My Great Grandfather’s sibs; I just want pictures! – D.R.
- One surname is Bryan. Why oh why does everyone want a T on the end??? – D.R.
- The assumptions people make with no documentation! – K.C.B.
Relatives & Researchers
- A small gripe…some folks know I do genealogy, and they call and ask about grandma and great grandma. Two days later they call and I think they want more info, but no: my little bit of info, [plus] the Internet, and they say they have the family tree all done now. They spent about a week on it. I’ve been on this quest years…many, many years. – A.G.
- All the lies that have been told over the years…there’s a never-ending supply. – K.L.
- Ignore the “lies” or error in research; do your own research, without any preconceived notions. – A.D.
- Family members that don’t tell you the truth, but [instead] their version of it. – J.B.
- For me [it] is when I make a connection and people dispute it. – L.J.S.
- For me it’s fictitious pedigrees others have made using people with the same name or making up lineage to obtain property. – J.E.
- It’s the fellow “researchers” who won’t reply when you reach out to them with no more intent than to just say “hello, we may be related and pursuing the same goals.” – D.R.
- My cousin did the same to me, refused to let me know when my great-grandmother died, and my mother has continued to remind me for 34 years [that] I was at the beach and missed the funeral! – S.S.
- My frustration button is pushed when I send someone all the info and docs and they publish it without any mention of who actually did the research, and then they get treated like a god and won’t acknowledge any of his mistakes…argh. – R.L.
- Credit where credit is due. – T.K.
- When someone with a private tree copies info that you have worked very hard to obtain, and when you try to ask them to share their info you hear nothing from them. – M.D.
- People that don’t share. – M.M.
- People who don’t share after you have graciously shared with them. – L.M.
- Relatives that won’t talk or SHARE!!! – L.N.B.
- Uncooperative family members that refuse to give you information. – C.R.
- When newly-discovered family members ask for heritage items but can never seem to share with you. – H.P.M.
- When people deliberately withhold information from you just because they can. – T.J.
Sources (or lack thereof!)
- Here’s one: newspapers or other articles that are clipped out and no “source” information attached…no date, no city/state, no publication name. I am happy to go find them again…but man, needle in a haystack! Now, [for] every newspaper article I find, I save the full page from the website. – S.C.
- Posted trees/pedigrees with no valid documentation. – B.E.
Time & Money (not enough hours in the day)
- For me it’s two things: finding the time to research, and finding the focus. I start with one person, find others who are interesting and leap around. – C.M.N.
- For me it is my inability to be able to devote enough time at one sitting. I work full-time and have a family so I rarely get more than a couple hours at a time. – R.T.F.
- Many years and hoops [to jump through] and, yes, the costs. – D.S.B.
- Not enough time to get it all done, and money to travel for searches. – B.J.A.
Wishing They’d Asked…
- Not asking my relatives when they were younger about family history; now they’re all gone. – L.B.W. (My response:) “You are so right about that. If we could only ask a few more questions, we’d all be happy!”
- Not having asked my relatives questions before they died because I wasn’t interested at the time! – G.G.T.
- Not having my grandparents and parents around to share it with. – L.C.
- It makes you question the information that you have. In my case it’s my paternal grandmother and her entire line. All I have is a handwritten piece of paper that my Dad apparently wrote (I was a teenager when he died and I had no idea until after his death that it even existed). – T.L.M.
- Totally agree, 3 of [my] Grandparents died before I was smart enough to realize I should ask and record the answers. My remaining Grandma gets grilled every visit, tape recorder on! Although, the tall tales some of my relatives passed along are sometimes more frustrating than not having information from them. – S.C.
A Few Last Remarks!
- What is reasonable to a perfectionist and genealogist? And I would wager that most of us that consider ourselves even amateur genealogists are raging perfectionists. – B.C.
- My greatest gift was my maternal grandmother who lived to 102 and knew everyone’s business in her country neighborhood. We were related to most of them! She loved to tell all about them. I sure miss her. – N.G.
- The greatest frustration in this, my remaining years, is the disinterest in [our] ancestors of those who share my ancestry. It’s a risk. – T.K.
- I’ve been hunting for the 20th century death of a family member for almost a year. Got it today – I’m smiling! – A.D.
- What frustrates me about genealogy? ALL OF THE ABOVE! – D.R.
Got any more genealogy challenges or frustrations to add? Share them with us in the comments.